Apologize
by Lara-Van
Summary: When it came down to the wire, he was always stupid and rash and that was how he got himself into situations like Kirby Plaza. But in retrospect... there was no immediate need to smash the instrument to bits." Peter seeks Emma out to explain his actions.


**A Note From Lara:** Ack! Ack! Ack! "Close To You" is best defined as **Pemma Epic Fail**!!! ACK!!! But it's given me so much material and SUCH a good episode, I don't really care! I'm gonna delve into the dramatic, angsty stuff in awhile, but right now I REALLY needed to write this, or my head was going to explode...

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Apologize

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This was probably a bad idea, Peter thought to himself as he hesitated just outside of the file room. He was 90 percent sure that Emma would never want to speak to him again, and after thinking over his actions last night, he couldn't blame her.

He had been rash. That was no real surprise: when it came down to the wire, he was _always_ stupid and rash and that was how he got himself into situations like Kirby Plaza. But in retrospect, he was well aware that the event he'd dreamed was still quite some time in the future. There was no immediate hurry to smash the instrument to bits (and come to think of it, he didn't actually know if it would make a difference. It was the power, not the instrument). He could have waited to give an explanation.

His only justification was that he'd panicked. When he thought about that terrified, exhausted Emma he had dreamed about, when he considered her being confronted with Sylar... It woke something up inside him, some sick, nameless terror. Though he couldn't explain why, he could pinpoint the cause. If what he'd seen came to pass, one way or another he would lose her. And right now, he couldn't lose Emma. Not so soon after Nathan...

It was a deeply disturbing thought, and even now it made him shudder to think about it. No, Emma's safety was more important. It didn't matter if she never spoke to him, just so long as she was safe and alive.

Finally, he worked up the courage to step into the file room.

Emma looked up when he entered, and as he expected, her face was closed off from him. Blank wall. She kept a mildly polite look of wholehearted disinterest plastered on her features.

Dredging up what little signing he had picked up over the last couple of weeks, he signed his words even as he spoke his case aloud. "Hi," he said awkwardly. "Emma, I know you don't want to see me right now, maybe not ever. And I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry that I had to hurt you that way. But I need you to understand why I did it."

"You're crazy," she offered.

Peter sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He had expected that, but it didn't make it any easier to bear. "It was stupid and rash, but it was also very important." He broke off, collected his thoughts, and continued. "I should have explained before I acted, and I'm sorry for that. You haven't lived through some of the things I've had to. And honestly, I hope you never have to, because this world that I keep getting pulled back into is hell. That's mostly what I was trying to prevent, when I... when I did that. I'm trying really, really hard to keep you out of all that, and safe."

Her lips narrowed into a tight, angry line. "I don't need protecting!"

"Normally, no," he said. "But you don't know what you're getting into. Neither did I, at first. Right after I discovered my abilities, I came within seconds of destroying the entire city of New York and killing everyone in it. I couldn't have lived with myself if it had actually happened. But my... Nathan pulled me out and kept me from being responsible for something like that. I'm just trying to pass that on."

For a moment, she seemed to be struggling with herself. Then, with a sigh, she asked, "You said you had a dream...?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I picked that one up from my mother after you left yesterday. It's a very... _disorienting_... ability. What I saw was confusing, but from what I saw, you're going to be... I'm not sure. But there were people _screaming_..." Peter trailed away, shrugging helplessly.

After another long hesitation, Emma's icy expression melted just a little. "I haven't forgiven you," she said sternly. "But I'm not mad anymore. Tell me what you saw."

It wasn't a promise of eternal friendship, but it was something, at least. And right now, Peter would take anything he could get.


End file.
